Pope Francis offers hope to divorced Catholics, says no to gay marriage

The Popester called for divorced and remarried Catholics to participate more fully in church life. But he closed the door on gay marriage. His Popeishness said that maybe divorce isn’t so bad after all and maybe they can bend the rules to allow it, but as for gay people, ewwwwww, no way should they be able to do something like get married.

All this was laid out in a 256-page document known as an apostolic exhortation and titled Amoris Laetitia, or “the Joy of Love,” amounted to his most sweeping pronouncement to date on the social issues that have deeply divided his senior clergy.

In other words, modern stuff that the ignorant goat herders who wrote the bible didn’t think of 2,000 years ago when they were making shit up.

Though observers had hoped for clarity, the pontiff’s ambiguity on access to the sacrament could sow tensions as a divided church hierarchy parses his words like so many tea leaves.

“At times we have also proposed a far too abstract and al­most artificial theological ideal of marriage, far removed from the concrete situations and prac­tical possibilities of real families. This excessive idealization, especially when we have failed to inspire trust in God’s grace, has not helped to make marriage more desirable and attractive, but quite the opposite,” Francis wrote.

His Popeishness

I got a good thing going as long as I can keep the suckers in line.”

On the topic of gay equality, Francis repeated words he has written and said before: same-sex unions are in no way “similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and family.”

Right, as long as the church can try and claim a monopoly on marriage and insist that gays not be allowed to participate. Because who knows what might happen then? It might interfere with the priest’s daily schedule of molesting little boys and girls.

Which brings us to the glaring fact that nowhere in the 256-page document was any mention made of the epidemic of child abuse, rape, and molestation that is the on-going hallmark of the Catholic church. Not one word.

Francis mentioned child abuse in passing, as he enumerated what he sees as the pressures on modern families. Among them: a lack of quality sex education, the way electronic devices feed the need for instant gratification, migration, lack of housing, pornography, child abuse, lack of respect for the elderly and violence against women.

It’s almost as if he’s saying that, oh sure, child abuse happens, but it’s nothing that the church needs to concern itself with.

In summary: “gays are icky, no marriage for them, divorce might be okay since everyone is doing it anyway, child abuse is bad but we’re not doing it, listen to what I say, and keep sending us money so we can keep this show on the road.”

All in all, this 256-page apostolic exhortation is another case of “do as I say, not as I do. Above all, obey me and my Bronze-Age ideas.”

For a document titled “the Joy of Love,” there’s not a lot to like, much less love.