Televangelists

Turkey detains Muslim televangelist on fraud charges

July 12. 2018

 

It’s not just Christian televangelists who are con men

 

Turkish police officers escort televangelist Adnan Oktar (centre) following his arrest in Istanbul, on July 11, 2018

 

Ankara (AFP) – Turkish police on Wednesday detained on fraud charges a televangelist notorious for propagating conservative views while surrounded by scantily-clad women he refers to as his “kittens”.

Adnan Oktar, a bizarre and controversial figure who also denies evolution, was detained alongside dozens of mainly female alleged supporters on accusations of fraud, bribery and sexual assault.

Oktar, who critics see as the leader of a cult, gained notoriety for his programmes on the online A9 television channel and had regularly been denounced by Turkey’s religious leaders.

He presented programmes surrounded by scantily-clad and heavily made-up women — who appeared to have had plastic surgery — who he dubbed “kittens”.

In a major crackdown on his group, he was taken into custody in Istanbul as part of a probe by the city’s police financial crimes unit, state-run Anadolu news agency said.

A total of 235 arrest warrants were issued and at least 166 people have been detained so far in helicopter-backed raids in Istanbul, Ankara and also southern Turkey, Anadolu said. NTV television said 100 of those detained are female.

Oktar was caught as he was trying to run away, the Istanbul public prosecutor said in a statement, quoted by the Hurriyet daily. His lawyers were also detained.

He is also accused of “setting up an organisation with the aim of committing crime”, “committing fraud through abuse of religious belief and sentiment”, Anadolu said.

Oktar’s assets were seized, Anadolu said, adding that authorities appointed a trustee to his companies, associations and foundations.

Weapons including guns and rifles were also found during the raids, the agency said.

The head of Turkey’s Diyanet religious affairs agency Ali Erbas said earlier this year that Oktar had “likely lost his mental balance”, prompting a war of words with the televangelist.

When Too Much Is Not Enough – Greed And Televangelism

May 31, 2018

 

The prosperity gospel, but no prosperity for the flock Jesse Duplantis is fleecing.

A prosperity gospel televangelist from Louisiana says Jesus has asked him to buy a new private jet. And wouldn’t you know it, Jesus has real nice taste in planes.

Jesse Duplantis, leader of Jesse Duplantis Ministries and the owner of three other private jets, is asking his followers to chip in so his ministry can purchase a brand new Dassault Falcon 7X, which runs about $54 million.

In a video recently published on his website, Duplantis says the planes get him closer to the Lord — both literally and figuratively — and he had a divine conversation in which Jesus asked for the new aircraft by name.
“It was one of the greatest statements the Lord ever told me, he said, ‘Jesse do you want to come up where I’m at?'” the minister says. “‘I want you to bleed me for a Falcon 7X.'”

By “bleed,” Duplantis — er, Jesus — apparently meant “ask for donations.”

Duplantis goes on to tell his followers that jets, especially nice ones with good fuel efficiency, allow him and his ministries to reach more people around the world. And no, it wouldn’t technically be his, it would be the ministry’s.
“All it’s gonna do is it’s going to touch people, it’s going to reach people, it’s going to change lives one soul at a time,” Duplantis said of the aircraft.

“I really believe that if Jesus was physically on the earth today, he wouldn’t be riding a donkey,” he added with a chuckle.
In the video, Duplantis also shows his followers a photo of him standing beside his other three jets: a Cessna Citation 500, an IAI Westwind II, and a Dassault Falcon 50. Under the portrait is a quote, which he proudly reiterates: “It’s not about possessions, it’s about priorities.”

Televangelist Jim Bakker is selling Missouri cabins as the safest spot for the Apocalypse

May 7, 2018

 

Jim Bakker, consummate con man

 

Jim Bakker has hit an ethical rock bottom. We didn’t think he could go any lower than his potato soup scam, but behold! he has has sunk to new depths.

Televangelist Jim Bakker suggests that if you want to survive the end of days, the best thing you could do is buy one of his cabins in Missouri’s Ozark Mountains. And while you’re at it, be sure to pick up six 28-ounce “Extreme Survival Warfare” water bottles for $150.

Bakker, 78, made comments promoting his Morningside church community alongside his co-host and wife, Lori, on an episode of “The Jim Bakker Show,” which aired Tuesday. The show is filmed there, near Branson.

Bakker was known for hosting the evangelical Christian TV program “The PTL Club” in the ’70s and ’80s — up until 1987, when his empire came crashing down amid a sex scandal and charges of fraud.

Jessica Hahn told The Charlotte Observer last December that Bakker had manipulated her into having sex in a hotel room in 1980, back when she was a church secretary. At the time, Bakker was married to Tammy Faye.

 

Kirbyjon Caldwell – Houston megachurch pastor and spiritual adviser to George W. Bush indicted on13 counts conspiracy, wire fraud and money laundering

March 30, 2018

 

Look here, ol’ people. I stoled yo’ money. It’s mah job.

 

A prominent Houston pastor and spiritual adviser to President George W. Bush has been indicted on federal charges that he sold millions of dollars in worthless Chinese bonds to elderly and vulnerable investors, according to federal authorities.

Kirbyjon H. Caldwell, 64, and Shreveport financial planner Gregory Alan Smith, 55, were charged with 13 counts of conspiracy, wire fraud and money laundering.

Caldwell is accused of using his position as the senior pastor of the Windsor Village United Methodist Church to help lure nearly $3.5 million in investments into historic Chinese bonds that are not recognized by the Chinese government. He and Smith told investors they could see returns as high as 15 times their initial investment, according to the indictment.

Billy Graham Dead At 99

February 22, 2018

 

Finally!

Jim Bakker Says God Will Punish You For Making Fun Of Him

October 17, 2017

 

Oh, no. This food is terrible. I’m gonna hurl!

 

“I warned you but you didn’t listen.”

Jim Bakker has had it with his critics.

The disgraced televangelist is demanding that “mean people in America” who make fun of him stop watching his show, which is essentially an infomercial for his doomsday food mixed with predictions about an impending apocalypse.

He’s warning that there will be dire consequences for those who continue to watch and mock.

“If you don’t want to hear it, just shut me off,” he said in a clip from Friday’s show posted online by Right Wing Watch. “Especially you folks that monitor me every day to try to destroy me. Just go away. You don’t have to be there. You don’t have to hear it.”

Then he fired off his warning:

“One day, you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face. And you’re going to say, ‘God, why didn’t you warn me?’ He’s gonna say, ‘You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you, but you didn’t listen.’”
We are trembling with fear. Really, Jim, just fucking trembling.

Bakker was a staple of the 1980s televangelist circuit, building a Christian TV empire worth $180 million. But it all came crumbling down when he resigned in shame after a sex scandal and eventually served four years in prison for fraud.

Today, he hawks survivalist food and other prepper supplies to help Christians survive an upcoming “tribulation” period that will supposedly last for several years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go fuck yourself, Jim Bakker. We’re going to continue watching you and laughing at your idiocy, your awful food and your imaginary friend in the sky. 

 

 

 

Due To Popular Demand

We have received a flood of emails asking us to post more words of wisdom from Past Robertson. So here is a short collection that will let you enter what is left of his mind. We don’t think any of these require commentary. They stand on their own.

  • Men with “rebellious” wives should live where wife-beating is legal.
  • You should cast demons out of secondhand clothes you buy, lest their previous owner’s evil infect you.
  • God punishes people for having too much education.
  • Beware “scamsters in religious garb.”
  • Abortion is a lesbian conspiracy.
  • Atheists are trying to steal Christmas to make you miserable.

Pat Robertson Blames Las Vegas Massacre On ‘Disrespect’ For Donald Trump

October 3, 2017

 

TV preacher Pat Robertson says the massacre in Las Vegas was caused by lack of respect for President Donald Trump, protests during the national anthem and the country having no “vision of God.”

“There is profound disrespect for our president, all across this nation they say terrible things about him,” the televangelist and former presidential candidate said on “The 700 Club” on Monday. “It’s in the news, it’s in other places.”

This is the man whom god told that Mitt Romney would be that next president and would serve two terms. He has said so many crazy things that if you read them all it would give you cancer.

Robertson went on:
“There is disrespect now for our national anthem, disrespect for our veterans, disrespect for the institutions of our government, disrespect for the court system. All the way up and down the line, disrespect.”

He also blamed the lack of “biblical authority” and “some controlling authority in our society.”

“When there is no vision of God, the people run amok,” he said in the clip, posted online by Right Wing Watch. “And we have taken from the American people the vision of God, the whole idea of reward and punishment, an ultimate judge of all our actions, we’ve taken that away.

When there is no vision of God, the people run amok.”

 

Oooga Booga, baby,

 

Jim Bakker: Making Fun Of Trump Is The ‘Spirit Of The Antichrist’

Disgraced televangelist said the first horseman of the Apocalypse is here.

 

And if you can’t believe Jim Bakker, who can you believe?

 

May 16. 2017

The “spirit of the Antichrist” is alive and well and living inside people who dare to mock President Donald Trump, disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker said.

Bakker now sells survivalist food and gear to doomsday preppers on his “Jim Bakker Show.” In a clip from Thursday that was posted online by Right Wing Watch, he claimed there was a “hatred among peoples and this is satanic.”

Then he went full “Sleepy Hollow” on his audience:

This is the White Horse of the Apocalypse. The White Horse of the Apocalypse is the first horse. It’s a horse of speech. It’s a horse of spirit. And the spirit of Antichrist is out now. This is what you’re seeing. You want to know what the Antichrist spirit looks like? That’s what’s going on in America. These people mocking the president, the words they use, the speech they use, that’s the spirit of Antichrist. That’s the spirit of hatred.”

Bakker had a popular ― and lucrative ― TV ministry in the 1980s, but resigned in shame after a sex scandal. He eventually did five years in prison for fraud

 

How about making fun of Jim Bakker? That’s still okay, isn’t it?

 

Did he say “White Horse of the Apocalypse” or “White House of the Apocalypse”?

 

 

 

IRS Raids Offices Of ‘Prosperity Gospel’ Preacher Benny Hinn

Benny Hinn, fleecing the flock to create prosperity – for himself.

 

April 29, 2017

 

IRS agents have been raiding the offices of famed televangelist and “prosperity gospel” preacher Benny Hinn for nearly two days, raising questions about whether a tax-evasion investigation is underway.
According to the Associated Press, anywhere from 40 to 50 federal agents descended on the offices of the popular televangelist on Wednesday morning in Grapevine, Texas, hauling boxes of evidence out of a building. As of Thursday morning, IRS officials and Postal Inspection Police were reportedly still continuing to work.
Agents at the scene would not detail the nature of the investigation, but told local ABC affiliate WFAA that their unit is tasked “primarily [with] investigating Title 26, which is tax evasion and general fraud against the government.”
Hinn was not present during the raid, as he is believed to be in Paris, France.
The pastor is widely known for his energetic preaching style and regular use of “faith healing,” an often dramatic spectacle where participants claim to be healed through touch. Hinn is also considered to be a preacher of “prosperity gospel” theology, a belief system that teaches devotees they can achieve personal, physical, and financial success through a combination of Christian faith and giving money to their church.
[An official] told local ABC affiliate WFAA that their unit is tasked “primarily [with] investigating Title 26, which is tax evasion and general fraud against the government.”
“[God] is the ultimate Giver!” Hinn declares on his website in a post insisting God will forgive the debts of believers (the post itself is flanked by “donate” buttons). “And as we imitate Him with obedient giving, the potential of the harvest from our seed is truly limitless.”
Prosperity preachers like Hinn often accumulate vast fortunes over time, which has made them the subject of harsh criticism from both conservative and progressive Christians who say individual riches are antithetical to Christian teaching. According to an ABC News report, Hinn’s ministry rakes in an estimated $100 million annually as of 2009, primarily from donations.
The extravagant wealth of Hinn and others like him — which often includes huge estates and private jets purchased with money provided by congregants — has caught the eye of the federal government in the past. Hinn was one of six televangelists and prosperity gospel preachers who were subject to a Senate investigation led by Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) in 2007. The probe was halted three years later, however, with only two of the six ministries instituting financial reforms recommended by investigators — one of which was Benny Hinn Ministries.
Hinn was also the subject of a separate IRS investigation in 2005, according to the Houston Chronicle.
Prosperity preachers have become increasingly popular in recent years, with pastors such as Joel Osteen boasting some of the largest congregations in the country. “Health and wealth” pastors have also emerged as a political force in recent months: President Donald Trump surrounded himself with prosperity preachers throughout his campaign, and Trump himself helped Osteen launch his Sirius XM radio ministry in 2014.
Hinn was invited to join a delegation of pastors to meet with Trump during the 2016 campaign, but sent an emissary instead. The Daily Beast speculated that his absence may have had something to do with the presence of Paula White, another prosperity preacher and Trump’s closest spiritual adviser, who was accused of having an affair with Hinn in 2010 (he refuted such accusations).
An IRS spokesperson declined to comment for this story, as did a representative for Benny Hinn ministries.

 

A spokesperson for Benny Hinn would only say that ‘his hair is perfect’.

Pastor Claims Anointed Cake Stopped A Guy From Being Gay

Lance Wallnau, crazy as a shithouse rat

 

March 22, 2017

 

Have a gay friend you want to convert to the heterosexual life? Let them eat cake. Anointed cake, that is. Now available in chocolate, vanilla and bullshit. Oh, they are all out of chocolate and vanilla.

Check next week’s Dogpatch Sentinel to find out where to purchase apple tarts that will keep your spouse faithful.

 

Lance Wallnau, of West Dogpatch, Tennessee,  was answering a question via a Periscope session from a viewer who wanted to stop her son from being gay, according to a video that Right Wing Watch posted online.

In response, he shared the story of “hookers” who got “saved” and wanted to help a bar owner “who was gay and very adamantly anti-Christian.”

So they baked him a cake and prayed over it, he said.

“It was an anointed cake,” Wallnau said. “The power of God hit him while he was eating the cake.”

Wallnau claimed the bar owner felt “the presence of God” while eating the cake and underwent some kind of transformation and was eventually baptized.

“The spirit that was working him got broken off,” he said. “I’m telling you, it’s a story.”

He’s not sure if a magical cake will “save” others, he added. He also did not mention the flavor of the cake.

Wallnau has made several bizarre claims before, including a belief that the media uses “mind control and witchcraft” to increase opposition to Trump, and that the Women’s March in January and other protests is the work of “the people of the devil.”

Televangelist Jan Crouch Finally Stops Soiling the Earth

Let us all rejoice, as televangelist and scam artist Jan Crouch has died at 78 after suffering a massive stroke.puff-of-breath-gif

The queen of the world’s first mega-sized “prosperity gospel” empire bilked millions of people out of their last few dollars during her 40+ year reign as the Chief Scamstress of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, TBN.

With her late husband Paul, Jan Crouch transformed Christianity into a powerful and profitable global business with nearly $1 billion in net assets.

Jan Crouch, co-founder of one of the world’s largest Evangelical Christian broadcasting networks, died early Tuesday of a massive stroke. She was 78, and was bogged down in what was described as “a painfully public civil war” within her family, which controlled the religious broadcasting corporation.

bKnown for enormous hair, diva-like attitude, and complete lack of morals, she will be missed by no one except the TBN accountants.

Son Brandon Crouch and his sisters, Brittany Crouch Koper and Carra Crouch, hadn’t seen Jan Crouch because of the family’s brutal infighting. Both sisters are suing Trinity.

 

Brittany Crouch Koper has accused the mighty Christian broadcaster of playing fast and loose with the ministry’s millions, and provided internal documents to back up her claims.jan-crouch-22149-20131205-782

 

Carra Crouch alleges that she was plied with alcohol and raped by a TBN employee in Atlanta when she was just 13 – and that her family covered up the incident rather than report it to authorities, to protect TBN’s reputation.

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